So... There's this crazy, mind-blowing, phenomenal blessing of a thing that God has given each and every one of us... You know what it is? Weakness.
You call me crazy, and my human-led part of myself calls me crazy as well, but allow me to remind you to think about this really important truth, just as God has faithfully reminded me to think about it this week.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
You know that feeling... that feeling of mind exploding wonder and awe that you get when you catch even just a glimpse of the raw, unadulterated Truth? That same feeling is the feeling I get when I think of Christ's death, the state of mankind, suffering, etc... that feeling where you actually feel the weight of the deep darkness and hideousness of a thing and yet the breathtaking beauty of unparalleled purity and goodness of it, all at the same time, all weighed and observed in one hand! It's such an unspeakably amazing thing, as are other Truths that God leads us to stumble upon, and that's how I'm beginning to feel about the topic of weakness.
In most situations I just get preoccupied by weakness, get discouraged by it, and focus on it rather than the power and the plan behind the Voice that has called me to do what He has. I think it a very natural and normal process for us to find discouragement and discouragement alone when we are pulled down to look our weaknesses, brokenness, and falleness straight in the eyes...
Encouragement is needed in this area, and hopefully I can pass on, amongst this rabble of words, a taste of that hope and encouragement which God promises and sings over us!
I've lost track of time this week, but I believe it was two nights ago, I went to a Biola chapel, and heard one of the most impactful things I have heard in a very long time. A Chinese woman spoke at the chapel, a Chinese woman who had been harshly persecuted and tortured for her faith, who had such a passion for God and other people coming to know His glory, that she endured 6 years of imprisonment under the hand of the Chinese government, until God finally brought her out as a refugee to the United States.
Her story is a crazy one, and I know that thousands, if not more, believers around the world suffer from much the same thing. Which, may I add, is even crazier! And yet, in all the stories she recounted for us, the one main thing that she emphasized about herself in that experience was that she was WEAK. She was not just being humble in saying that, but I could see that literally, if God had not carried her along, if His glory, grace, and passion was not as great as it is and was, she probably would never have made it through.
WEAKNESS. We've all got it. All those who endure persecution daily have it. Missionaries across the world have it. Our greatest leaders have it. I have plenty of it, and undoubtedly so do you. The crazy thing is that none of our limitations can in any way, shape or form stop God from doing with us what He wills, nor can they disqualify us from bringing glory to His name in the ways that he created us to! I feel so limited in regards to the people I can reach, in regards to what I can actually accomplish for God's name... but all of those things that I have to work through and that have been the repeating trials of growth in my life, those things are the things that speak a better word than any other, that speak Truth in ways that can hit and encourage hearts in the ways most needed!
Weakness is disheartening, it's frustrating and difficult to deal with, think upon, and work through, but it is also one of the biggest blessings God has given us: points that remind us and remind others just how great, gracious, and wonderful our God is, and just how far His gracious hand stretches into our lives!
I've found that God has far more grace for us than we often offer ourselves, and I know, for my own part, that I need to work on that.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Do you Ever Feel like...
Do you ever feel like what God has asked of you is just too big?
Here, let's downsize a little... Do you ever feel like your specific calling as a Christian, an ambassador for Christ in this world, is a little on the "ya I'd dream to do that, but I don't really expect it to ever come true" side?
I've been thinking about it lately... After years of praying and forgetting to pray for "career guidance" from God, He pretty blatantly told me over the span of a week this last semester in college that I was supposed to be a missionary... not just that, but a missionary to unreached peoples... not just that, but also in a psychologist/ counselor capacity.
Pretty intense right? I mean... we always pray that God would just be straightforward, that we would "hear His voice" more clearly, and we've grown to desire nothing but a straight and quick answer. Now, mind you, this answer has been three or four years of patience in the making, but He sure hit me smack dab between the eyes with this one.
Don't get me wrong, praise God that He saw fit to put a calling so strongly on my life that even I can't deny or shrink back from it when I feel just "too tired" or worn out to think about the long term and where all of this is going...
The fact is, though, that I often get the feeling that this is all too big... I mean, "Sure God, you've asked me to be a missionary, to share your hope, your reconciliation, your peace, your abiding love with the people of [country yet to be clarified when the time comes], but... I mean... are you sure?"...
And then the thoughts and the conversation trails off into a list as long as a roll of toilet paper running, hopping, bouncing, unravelling down a spiral staircase... just continually revealing the doubt after limitation after weakness that's within me.
But then I really think about it...
We all have limitless limitations, faults, doubts, and power issues in our lives.
None of us are capable of taking the gospel to a people and making them believe without God's help.
None of us are perfectly equipped for anything we are asked to do in this life...
I mean, look at David... he was asked by God to slay a giant... with a slingshot... I'd say he was pretty limited and poorly equipped for that feat, and yet God used that little boy to accomplish it!
Isn't that what it's all about? How could we ever learn anything if it weren't so?! It's in the testing of our limitations, the disciplining and "beating" of our bodies, as Paul puts it, that we become anything.
And even then... we aren't anything without the God who saved us.
This world, this plan, this thing that we call a Call may seem way too big for me, and that may daunt me at times, but that's the point. If I could do it all, there would be no power in it, because my power is nothing, and it won't impact a thing... but what God has been teaching me this past year is that at my weakest point, His power is at it's greatest, and it's those moments in which we can learn the most and make the biggest impact for God.
Here, let's downsize a little... Do you ever feel like your specific calling as a Christian, an ambassador for Christ in this world, is a little on the "ya I'd dream to do that, but I don't really expect it to ever come true" side?
I've been thinking about it lately... After years of praying and forgetting to pray for "career guidance" from God, He pretty blatantly told me over the span of a week this last semester in college that I was supposed to be a missionary... not just that, but a missionary to unreached peoples... not just that, but also in a psychologist/ counselor capacity.
Pretty intense right? I mean... we always pray that God would just be straightforward, that we would "hear His voice" more clearly, and we've grown to desire nothing but a straight and quick answer. Now, mind you, this answer has been three or four years of patience in the making, but He sure hit me smack dab between the eyes with this one.
Don't get me wrong, praise God that He saw fit to put a calling so strongly on my life that even I can't deny or shrink back from it when I feel just "too tired" or worn out to think about the long term and where all of this is going...
The fact is, though, that I often get the feeling that this is all too big... I mean, "Sure God, you've asked me to be a missionary, to share your hope, your reconciliation, your peace, your abiding love with the people of [country yet to be clarified when the time comes], but... I mean... are you sure?"...
And then the thoughts and the conversation trails off into a list as long as a roll of toilet paper running, hopping, bouncing, unravelling down a spiral staircase... just continually revealing the doubt after limitation after weakness that's within me.
But then I really think about it...
We all have limitless limitations, faults, doubts, and power issues in our lives.
None of us are capable of taking the gospel to a people and making them believe without God's help.
None of us are perfectly equipped for anything we are asked to do in this life...
I mean, look at David... he was asked by God to slay a giant... with a slingshot... I'd say he was pretty limited and poorly equipped for that feat, and yet God used that little boy to accomplish it!
Isn't that what it's all about? How could we ever learn anything if it weren't so?! It's in the testing of our limitations, the disciplining and "beating" of our bodies, as Paul puts it, that we become anything.
And even then... we aren't anything without the God who saved us.
This world, this plan, this thing that we call a Call may seem way too big for me, and that may daunt me at times, but that's the point. If I could do it all, there would be no power in it, because my power is nothing, and it won't impact a thing... but what God has been teaching me this past year is that at my weakest point, His power is at it's greatest, and it's those moments in which we can learn the most and make the biggest impact for God.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Chronicles of India- Chapter 2
Once I was welcomed onto the team, we all had our first team meeting together. It was awesome to meet the other seven people that I would be spending the next few months working beside. And yet, there was something not quite so awesome about the meeting.
We found out that each of us needed to have $330 by that friday... meaning, two days later.
Why, you ask? We had to put down a downpayment for our flights and pay the Mission Union, all of this adding up to more than three hundred dollars.... In TWO days...
We all looked at our leaders wide-eyed when they gave the announcement, but leaving that room at 11'oclock that night, I had a courage and purpose in my heart to try my best to gather/make as much money as I could the next day, since Wednesday was the only time I had to do anything about it.
Wednesday morning I woke up, a little anxious and nervous about what the day would hold. As I was praying, I realized that $330 dollars was something I didn't have and could certainly not accumulate on my own, so I boldly prayed out of faith that God would completely take this day in His hands and bring me the $330, that I could not do it, and that I had faith that He certainly would.
So I woke up in the morning... and I didn't live my life like a newly popular hip hop song, but I did post signs all over my floor saying that I would be doing henna all day in my room, and that anyone could get a tattoo for $3.
Then I went to classes, having already made about 7 appointments with girls on my floor for henna, I felt amazed at how God was already working.
I had also shot out emails to a few different groups of people: I therefore had scattered meeting with friends and a meeting at 9 at my church with the choir I had just recently joined.
Long story short, I did TONS of henna, I was running across campus all day, and it was the most busy day of my life. BUT, by 6:00 I had somehow, by God's grace, accumulated $180! So crazy. And I knew that I had that meeting with my church in just a couple hours.
So, a bit before 9, I hopped in my car and jetted over to my church. Now, I felt so uncomfortable doing this, and almost turned back multiple times. I hardly even know this community yet, and I felt so weird asking anything of them, let alone large sums of money (obstacle 1).
I got to the church and obstacle 2 hit: the doors were locked. I could see the choir... so close, yet so far! So, I determined that I wouldn't let that phase me, and waited. Thank God, someone finally came out, saw me, and let me in.
Then, of course, obstacle 3 hit. The rehearsal was supposed to be over at 9, and I was supposed to go tell them about my trip (the choir director had invited me to when I sent him an email). Only problem was, by 9:15, they were still going strong, and I had a meeting I had to be at at 9:30.
I felt so torn and so uncomfortable, but despite the strong urge to just give up and leave, God cemented my heart in that pew and held me there until they finally concluded at 9:30.
So I took a deep breath and made my way up to the stage, to stand in front of 50+ almost complete strangers who were all much older than me. I took another deep breath, and began to tell them about my trip, my passion for what God was doing, and my need.
It was extremely uncomfortable, but I was completely transparent and helpless in front of these people, stepping out in the faith that God wasn't having me do this for no reason.
And you want to know what? I was NOT for no reason :) with God I honestly don't think anything ever is!
As I was walking off the stage, a man from the band said he wanted to cover the whole $330! And I was hardly able to step off the stage before I was bombarded with hugs, prayers, encouragements, wise words amongst other things like checks and large bills (not the bird kind mind you ;)).
One of the women said an amazingly true thing to me: "I know it's difficult and uncomfortable, but how is the Body of Christ supposed to meet a need if they don't know about it."
After saying many thanks I walked out of there in awe of God and the amazing community that I didn't even know existed before that moment! I was so encouraged and stunned that I didn't even care to look at the wad of money that I had stuffed in my backpack.
I took the money straight into my leaders and the missions office.
Later that night, I found out the sum of money... The church alone had given me just under $500.00!!! That plus around $200 that I had made earlier....
I can't even accurately describe the feeling of utter awe that I had in God for the rest of the night... for the rest of that week, for the rest of my life I'll carry that memory with me.
God is SO good! Or, as one of my professors said this week, "God is the goodest good, far gooder than what our word 'good' can describe". He never ceases to amaze me, and His provision just affirmed in me even more the knowledge that India is exactly where I am supposed to be this summer, no more doubts about it!!
You know, it is SO difficult to live day to day on complete, blind faith, and I figure not many of us actually ever experience the purity of that. That one day, perhaps the first day I had ever experienced it fully, was so legitimately amazing that I know for a fact I shall never forget it, nor the mightily capabe hand of God.
And, Praise God, two weeks later, my team on a whole has $10, 400.00 of the $28,000.00 that we need to have by around the end of May. PRAISE GOD! He is providing so much for us, and being so faithful in encouragement.
Continue to pray for us as we proceed on this crazy adventure God is leading us through!
Namaste,
~Kendall
We found out that each of us needed to have $330 by that friday... meaning, two days later.
Why, you ask? We had to put down a downpayment for our flights and pay the Mission Union, all of this adding up to more than three hundred dollars.... In TWO days...
We all looked at our leaders wide-eyed when they gave the announcement, but leaving that room at 11'oclock that night, I had a courage and purpose in my heart to try my best to gather/make as much money as I could the next day, since Wednesday was the only time I had to do anything about it.
Wednesday morning I woke up, a little anxious and nervous about what the day would hold. As I was praying, I realized that $330 dollars was something I didn't have and could certainly not accumulate on my own, so I boldly prayed out of faith that God would completely take this day in His hands and bring me the $330, that I could not do it, and that I had faith that He certainly would.
So I woke up in the morning... and I didn't live my life like a newly popular hip hop song, but I did post signs all over my floor saying that I would be doing henna all day in my room, and that anyone could get a tattoo for $3.
Then I went to classes, having already made about 7 appointments with girls on my floor for henna, I felt amazed at how God was already working.
I had also shot out emails to a few different groups of people: I therefore had scattered meeting with friends and a meeting at 9 at my church with the choir I had just recently joined.
Long story short, I did TONS of henna, I was running across campus all day, and it was the most busy day of my life. BUT, by 6:00 I had somehow, by God's grace, accumulated $180! So crazy. And I knew that I had that meeting with my church in just a couple hours.
So, a bit before 9, I hopped in my car and jetted over to my church. Now, I felt so uncomfortable doing this, and almost turned back multiple times. I hardly even know this community yet, and I felt so weird asking anything of them, let alone large sums of money (obstacle 1).
I got to the church and obstacle 2 hit: the doors were locked. I could see the choir... so close, yet so far! So, I determined that I wouldn't let that phase me, and waited. Thank God, someone finally came out, saw me, and let me in.
Then, of course, obstacle 3 hit. The rehearsal was supposed to be over at 9, and I was supposed to go tell them about my trip (the choir director had invited me to when I sent him an email). Only problem was, by 9:15, they were still going strong, and I had a meeting I had to be at at 9:30.
I felt so torn and so uncomfortable, but despite the strong urge to just give up and leave, God cemented my heart in that pew and held me there until they finally concluded at 9:30.
So I took a deep breath and made my way up to the stage, to stand in front of 50+ almost complete strangers who were all much older than me. I took another deep breath, and began to tell them about my trip, my passion for what God was doing, and my need.
It was extremely uncomfortable, but I was completely transparent and helpless in front of these people, stepping out in the faith that God wasn't having me do this for no reason.
And you want to know what? I was NOT for no reason :) with God I honestly don't think anything ever is!
As I was walking off the stage, a man from the band said he wanted to cover the whole $330! And I was hardly able to step off the stage before I was bombarded with hugs, prayers, encouragements, wise words amongst other things like checks and large bills (not the bird kind mind you ;)).
One of the women said an amazingly true thing to me: "I know it's difficult and uncomfortable, but how is the Body of Christ supposed to meet a need if they don't know about it."
After saying many thanks I walked out of there in awe of God and the amazing community that I didn't even know existed before that moment! I was so encouraged and stunned that I didn't even care to look at the wad of money that I had stuffed in my backpack.
I took the money straight into my leaders and the missions office.
Later that night, I found out the sum of money... The church alone had given me just under $500.00!!! That plus around $200 that I had made earlier....
I can't even accurately describe the feeling of utter awe that I had in God for the rest of the night... for the rest of that week, for the rest of my life I'll carry that memory with me.
God is SO good! Or, as one of my professors said this week, "God is the goodest good, far gooder than what our word 'good' can describe". He never ceases to amaze me, and His provision just affirmed in me even more the knowledge that India is exactly where I am supposed to be this summer, no more doubts about it!!
You know, it is SO difficult to live day to day on complete, blind faith, and I figure not many of us actually ever experience the purity of that. That one day, perhaps the first day I had ever experienced it fully, was so legitimately amazing that I know for a fact I shall never forget it, nor the mightily capabe hand of God.
And, Praise God, two weeks later, my team on a whole has $10, 400.00 of the $28,000.00 that we need to have by around the end of May. PRAISE GOD! He is providing so much for us, and being so faithful in encouragement.
Continue to pray for us as we proceed on this crazy adventure God is leading us through!
Namaste,
~Kendall
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