First post, heavy topic, long blog.
BUT please don’t let this daunt you. This is a topic that has become so important to me recently. So even if you have to break it down into segments, even if it means you only read a paragraph a day ;), I hope you will bear with me through this dangerous adventure I am being led through by God.
(I have broken it up into three sections: feel free to read the parts in three installations, but please, if you start, finish. There is important stuff throughout, and this blog is only a complete thought when read in its entirety :) )
This semester at Biola, I enrolled into a class called “Cross Cultural and Ethnic Psychology”. Being a Psychology major and a lover of cross cultural interaction and missions, I jumped on the opportunity to take this class and explore the subject more. I was hoping for more clarity from God (as far as vocations go) and for my skills of communicating with others and understanding them to grow. But I have gained much more than I bargained for upon entering this class.
I must ask that you read the following blog with an open mind and heart. If defensiveness emerges, then I encourage you to pause and explore where that comes from, for I know that has helped me immensely. I encourage you to allow yourselves to be confused, to be broken, to be challenged, and to be willing to hear of another person’s experience and view, even if it doesn’t end up changing or impacting yours. These are valuable abilities to have in life, and only in letting go can God work in and bring the beauty of growth to our lives!
I must also say as a prerequisite to the following thoughts that I am not trying to judge anyone, I am not trying to condemn. I am trying to relate the facts and truths of what I am learning. I’m trying to bear a bit of my soul and experience, though it may be uncomfortable for me, because I believe that it is vitally important that I do. But you must understand in all of this that all of the statements I write come out of the deepest love for you and your well-being.
I know each and everyone one of us is at a different place in our lives, we have different experiences, different pains, that is what makes humanity such a beautiful creation. Many of you may already know much of what I am going to say. I do not wish or intend to invalidate any of your experiences. If you wish to converse with me further about my experience or the topic in this blog, I am all ears and would be SO happy to.
The following has become my view, it has become my new reality, and has become a part of the person God is forming and I pray He may continue building me into. It may seem radical, to some it may even seem foolish, but, hey, Christ Himself did things that seemed entirely stupid to the culture around Him! God often works outside of our comfort zones and understanding, our bounds in no way bind Him.
This is but a part of what I have been learning throughout this last month.
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It may seem cliché to say so, but I have no other words than to say: this class, in just the four weeks I have been in it, has quite certainly turned my life upside-down. My 19-years-in-the-making perspective on culture, ethnicity, racism, and how America works has been: Destroyed. Obliterated. Annihilated.
And at the point at which I am writing this, I sit in the rubble of that destruction, grasping for loving hands to pull me up, wondering why on earth I’m putting myself through this, wondering why I don’t just turn back and return to the way I’ve been walking with God and living life, for it has seemingly worked for some years now…
I’m at the point where I need to share, I need to at least try to help others to understand, I need you to see the reality with me, I need you to join me so that I have company and don’t have to be alone in this uncomfortable, subtle battle. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to be awakened and continually aware of a realm of sin that Satan so easily pulls us down with, though we rarely ever catch a glimpse of its danger. This realm is that of racism, stereotypes, and judgment.
You see, these first four weeks in the class and some weeks to come are focused on racism in the United States.
The hardest part about the topic? Realizing that I have been blinded due to my lack of curiosity and by the society I live in, and have been made to believe in these last 19 years that racism is just a problem of individual acts of hatred and oppression. What I have come to find is that in our generation it has become an institutional problem that is rooted deep in the very foundations of our country’s workings. So deep, in fact, that it causes small, subtle oppressions that eventually alienate minorities and tell them that the only way they can be accepted is by seeing that being white is normal and neutral, and that they should desire to be more like us.
Phrases like “if you would only become more like us” or “if you would only become more civilized” are sayings that I have learned commonly occur on my campus. A CHRISTIAN campus. People in the United States are daily made to feel that they are inadequate, incomplete, and unimportant, almost all people are made to feel this to some extent… but in the realm of racism it is very subtle and often ignored.
I have also learned about a term called “White Privilege”. Have you ever heard of this before? Because I sure never have. People in American don’t talk about this… It’s a taboo topic that no one wants to face, because if we say it, we are admitting it, and if we admit it, then we have to face it, and if we face it we have to decide what to do with it… and the process only gets more uncomfortable and more complicated.
If we admit it, and are God-following, caring, Christian people, that means that we are obligated to change it and fight against it… and that is a scary thing.
The whole concept of White privilege is that if we see that minorities are disadvantaged in some way (say, in education, the workplace, socioeconomically…) that means that someone out there in the world in being advantaged and advanced. The two always exist together, they are never separate.
And at the point at which I am writing this, I sit in the rubble of that destruction, grasping for loving hands to pull me up, wondering why on earth I’m putting myself through this, wondering why I don’t just turn back and return to the way I’ve been walking with God and living life, for it has seemingly worked for some years now…
I’m at the point where I need to share, I need to at least try to help others to understand, I need you to see the reality with me, I need you to join me so that I have company and don’t have to be alone in this uncomfortable, subtle battle. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to be awakened and continually aware of a realm of sin that Satan so easily pulls us down with, though we rarely ever catch a glimpse of its danger. This realm is that of racism, stereotypes, and judgment.
You see, these first four weeks in the class and some weeks to come are focused on racism in the United States.
The hardest part about the topic? Realizing that I have been blinded due to my lack of curiosity and by the society I live in, and have been made to believe in these last 19 years that racism is just a problem of individual acts of hatred and oppression. What I have come to find is that in our generation it has become an institutional problem that is rooted deep in the very foundations of our country’s workings. So deep, in fact, that it causes small, subtle oppressions that eventually alienate minorities and tell them that the only way they can be accepted is by seeing that being white is normal and neutral, and that they should desire to be more like us.
Phrases like “if you would only become more like us” or “if you would only become more civilized” are sayings that I have learned commonly occur on my campus. A CHRISTIAN campus. People in the United States are daily made to feel that they are inadequate, incomplete, and unimportant, almost all people are made to feel this to some extent… but in the realm of racism it is very subtle and often ignored.
I have also learned about a term called “White Privilege”. Have you ever heard of this before? Because I sure never have. People in American don’t talk about this… It’s a taboo topic that no one wants to face, because if we say it, we are admitting it, and if we admit it, then we have to face it, and if we face it we have to decide what to do with it… and the process only gets more uncomfortable and more complicated.
If we admit it, and are God-following, caring, Christian people, that means that we are obligated to change it and fight against it… and that is a scary thing.
The whole concept of White privilege is that if we see that minorities are disadvantaged in some way (say, in education, the workplace, socioeconomically…) that means that someone out there in the world in being advantaged and advanced. The two always exist together, they are never separate.
What does this mean for us then? For those of us who don’t step on minorities or “hold white power over their heads”? It means we have blindly and unintentionally been enjoying privileges our entire lives. PRIVILEGES.
I never saw it like that, have you? Society never tells us this. Society never tells us that we don’t deserve what we have they say that we have earned our position by merit. But really think about it… have you? I know I haven’t. I was born ahead of the game, I was born with more opportunity. I didn’t choose to be, but nonetheless, because this country works and thrives upon institutional racism, that’s the reality I have to accept.
What our society does is ingrains stereotypes in our minds, and in turn we subject others to those views, whether consciously or unconsciously doing so, because the tapes are there, playing in our minds. Think about it… when it gets down to it, don’t you wonder where those random thoughts or actions come from? Like when you get stuck behind a slow driver, then pass them to see they are asian… and the first thought that comes to your head is “well, that explains it”.
This is just a simple example… but really, all Asians aren’t bad drivers… nor are all Asians necessarily geniuses at math, nor are African American men inherently dangerous and violent, nor are all Hispanic men dirty minded, disrespectful, house-maids, or illegal immigrants “trying to suck the life out of the country”.
I never saw it like that, have you? Society never tells us this. Society never tells us that we don’t deserve what we have they say that we have earned our position by merit. But really think about it… have you? I know I haven’t. I was born ahead of the game, I was born with more opportunity. I didn’t choose to be, but nonetheless, because this country works and thrives upon institutional racism, that’s the reality I have to accept.
What our society does is ingrains stereotypes in our minds, and in turn we subject others to those views, whether consciously or unconsciously doing so, because the tapes are there, playing in our minds. Think about it… when it gets down to it, don’t you wonder where those random thoughts or actions come from? Like when you get stuck behind a slow driver, then pass them to see they are asian… and the first thought that comes to your head is “well, that explains it”.
This is just a simple example… but really, all Asians aren’t bad drivers… nor are all Asians necessarily geniuses at math, nor are African American men inherently dangerous and violent, nor are all Hispanic men dirty minded, disrespectful, house-maids, or illegal immigrants “trying to suck the life out of the country”.
These are just a couple simple ways I’ve seen these stereotypes picked up and expressed around me and from within me. In making these assumptions, we cut people off, we limit them, we discourage them, we hurt them, we ignore them as a individual person and lump them with this (negative and most of the time wrong) mass idea.
I know I hate it when people do things like that to me… I can’t believe that I’ve blindly been doing it to others… And to think there are hundreds of other far worse examples of racism in our society, but so little room I have to express what I now know :/.
I feel compelled to say that I am sorry. Sorry for not working against the problem, sorry for sometimes being a part of it, no matter how overt, intentional, big or small.
I am sorry for things I’ve said, for no matter for what purpose I said them, or how small they may have been to me, they have caused pain and stomped on an old bruised wound, a wound created by my forefathers and the country I have always called my own.
I am sorry for allowing myself to be content with circumstances, for allowing myself to remain blind and uneducated about the experience and validity of the problems and struggles of other races and culture groups.
_______________________________________________________________I know I hate it when people do things like that to me… I can’t believe that I’ve blindly been doing it to others… And to think there are hundreds of other far worse examples of racism in our society, but so little room I have to express what I now know :/.
I feel compelled to say that I am sorry. Sorry for not working against the problem, sorry for sometimes being a part of it, no matter how overt, intentional, big or small.
I am sorry for things I’ve said, for no matter for what purpose I said them, or how small they may have been to me, they have caused pain and stomped on an old bruised wound, a wound created by my forefathers and the country I have always called my own.
I am sorry for allowing myself to be content with circumstances, for allowing myself to remain blind and uneducated about the experience and validity of the problems and struggles of other races and culture groups.
In light of what I’ve mentioned, and all of the other things I have learned (things which I neither have the space nor the words to articulate) I have a decision to make.
I could just go back to the way I’ve been used to living my life for the past 19 years… to return to the blindness, to the jokes, to enjoying my position in society and never questioning how or why I am where I am (or why other people are stuck where they are), to fitting in and not having to be the one to awkwardly put myself out and be the “stickler” or the “prude” who people glare and roll their eyes at because they feel “I’m stepping on everyone else’s fun” or “making a big deal about something that’s long passed”. Or even be the socially awkward one who goes against the cultural norms that everyone else clings so readily to…
I could just go back to the way I’ve been used to living my life for the past 19 years… to return to the blindness, to the jokes, to enjoying my position in society and never questioning how or why I am where I am (or why other people are stuck where they are), to fitting in and not having to be the one to awkwardly put myself out and be the “stickler” or the “prude” who people glare and roll their eyes at because they feel “I’m stepping on everyone else’s fun” or “making a big deal about something that’s long passed”. Or even be the socially awkward one who goes against the cultural norms that everyone else clings so readily to…
I could.
Yet… I can’t.
My heart won’t let me.
My soul won’t let me.
My sanity couldn’t possibly let me.
Yet… I can’t.
My heart won’t let me.
My soul won’t let me.
My sanity couldn’t possibly let me.
I’ve begun to feel but a fraction of the pain and brokenness, and the Holy Spirit’s compassion within me will not allow me to forget.
I cannot return to resigning myself to joke along with everyone else at other’s expenses or turn a blind eye to the nasty truths I’ve discovered about the world I live in.
I cannot expect others to take the brunt of the very things that would so hurt and insult me.
I cannot ignore the responsibility I have for my judgmental sins.
I cannot ignore the fact that those sins, by the grace of God, have been forgiven, and that I now have the responsibility of the knowledge of these problems.
It’s more than just “treat others as you would wish to be treated”.
I cannot return to resigning myself to joke along with everyone else at other’s expenses or turn a blind eye to the nasty truths I’ve discovered about the world I live in.
I cannot expect others to take the brunt of the very things that would so hurt and insult me.
I cannot ignore the responsibility I have for my judgmental sins.
I cannot ignore the fact that those sins, by the grace of God, have been forgiven, and that I now have the responsibility of the knowledge of these problems.
It’s more than just “treat others as you would wish to be treated”.
There is far more behind it now.
The Emotion. The Pain.
It’s real.
It’s frightening.
It’s uncomfortable.
It can be downright depressing.
The Emotion. The Pain.
It’s real.
It’s frightening.
It’s uncomfortable.
It can be downright depressing.
It makes me angry, sometimes it makes me want to cry out for all of those who cannot do so for themselves - those who have trained and conditioned themselves not to out of the desperate hope that doing so can be better accepted.
The problem does not affect everyone in the same way… it does not apply to every story you will hear. But what right do any of us have to hurt, insult or oppress any one person?
We have no right to treat anyone, not even the fellows of our own race, not even the “dorky kid in the glasses”, in such a way.
The problem does not affect everyone in the same way… it does not apply to every story you will hear. But what right do any of us have to hurt, insult or oppress any one person?
We have no right to treat anyone, not even the fellows of our own race, not even the “dorky kid in the glasses”, in such a way.
Ephesians 4:29 says:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
In my life, it is a true desire to live a life that says: “ya know, I really want to live more like Christ. I really want to serve God and love others the best I can in my every day life.”
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
In my life, it is a true desire to live a life that says: “ya know, I really want to live more like Christ. I really want to serve God and love others the best I can in my every day life.”
But when I look at the number of times that judging or mocking comments and jokes come out of my mouth and the mouths of those around me, I can’t help but become discouraged and disappointed. Do I/we really mean it? I mean, I know we fall into sin, and that it is a daily battle, and in no way do I ever expect any of you or myself to be able to reach perfection, it would be just as wrong to hold you to such an impossible standard.
But at the same time, this is and needs to be a red flag that we automatically pay attention to. We need to change our perspective so that we have our eyes opened to what goes on, no matter how much of a risk it may be, or how disturbed we may be when we discover the truth of all that goes on around us.
It’s a damning and dark world that we live in, and seeing the pain of how it effects others has caused me many tears and distracted thoughts.
But we have to see it to believe it, I know that now. I have an entirely new perspective on the world now, and it IS scary! I don’t like it one bit, but only in experiencing that pain/ anger/ disturbance/what have you (can we and) have I begun to be motivated to make a change.
May I just present that the majority of us, including myself, have been content to sit back and be complacent about the subject for quite a length of time now? I’m done. I refuse to watch and be a spectator, laughing, nodding, or burying my head in someone else’s shoulder as others quite readily make sport of people who are different from them.
Culture is beautiful, diversity is a gift from God that teaches us how to love with God’s love (a love that truly span all things). Embrace differences, they come in a full package deal with each new person you meet. Learn to not allow personal disagreements or negative experiences with individuals darken your view of an entire people group, skin color, or culture group.
It is human to make judgments based on the experiences we’ve had, and if they’re mostly negative, that makes being a positive and gracious person very difficult… But the point is that we aren’t passionately striving after being more human… no, we are to strive after becoming more like God, and God is not bound by our foolish societal and cultural stereotypes.
Numerous times in Paul’s epistles is this phrase emphasized:
“With God, there is NO partiality”.
“With God, there is NO partiality”.
If we are to love properly and live a life striving passionately after God’s heart, how can we live content with loving people in any lesser way? We will stumble, we will fall, and we aren’t to beat ourselves up with every mistake we make, God would not have that.
BUT we have to pray for and bolster within ourselves a steady resolve for fighting against and calling into light such practices. We must live lives that actively strive and pray for the strength to fight against judgment, stereotyping, and mockery of others, whether based on race, disability, gender, sexual orientation or cultural differences.
BUT we have to pray for and bolster within ourselves a steady resolve for fighting against and calling into light such practices. We must live lives that actively strive and pray for the strength to fight against judgment, stereotyping, and mockery of others, whether based on race, disability, gender, sexual orientation or cultural differences.
“You, go and do likewise” Luke 10:37
Christ commands this after he relates the parable of the Good Samaritan. We are to forgive the wrongs and stereotypes others have against us and let nothing keep us from loving even those who our society deems as cultural/racial enemies.
God’s love is not limited or bound by class, skin color, social status, our inadequacies or even our sins. It is full, powerful, and amazing love, and I dedicate these realizations as the starting point that I can look back to from here on out… a reminder that It is my life’s goal to take up my Lord’s command and love Him more fully by obeying Him better.
God’s love is not limited or bound by class, skin color, social status, our inadequacies or even our sins. It is full, powerful, and amazing love, and I dedicate these realizations as the starting point that I can look back to from here on out… a reminder that It is my life’s goal to take up my Lord’s command and love Him more fully by obeying Him better.
I fully plan, by God’s grace and help, to pursue a life that passionately follows God’s heart and pursues deeper understanding, acceptance and growth, working lovingly alongside those who God places me with (1 Corinthians 13). I plan to try my very best to stand firm in the Lord and not move, despite how much flak I get from those around me. I plan to pursue unity rather than cause more division.
My prayer is that my heart would be broken by the things that break the heart of God, that He would empower me “to go and do likewise” by loving others as best as I can despite all differences, and that He would give me the courage to stand.
Praise God that He will have mercy when I fail, pick me up when I fall, and continue to teach me and grow me up in love. I will remain, expectant and awaiting what the Lover of my Soul has to say and wants to do with my life.
Thank you very much for bearing with me and listening, now perhaps some of you can understand a bit more why I have reacted in certain situations as I have, or even better understand the mindset and convictions I am now trying to live my life out of :).
This issue has become very near and dear to my heart,
if you want to know more about it, or have any questions about the whole thing,
or even just more about my own personal experience,
I would be more than happy to talk!
This issue has become very near and dear to my heart,
if you want to know more about it, or have any questions about the whole thing,
or even just more about my own personal experience,
I would be more than happy to talk!
