Grace in Weakness

So... There's this crazy, mind-blowing, phenomenal blessing of a thing that God has given each and every one of us... You know what it is? Weakness.



You call me crazy, and my human-led part of myself calls me crazy as well, but allow me to remind you to think about this really important truth, just as God has faithfully reminded me to think about it this week.



2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.



You know that feeling... that feeling of mind exploding wonder and awe that you get when you catch even just a glimpse of the raw, unadulterated Truth? That same feeling is the feeling I get when I think of Christ's death, the state of mankind, suffering, etc... that feeling where you actually feel the weight of the deep darkness and hideousness of a thing and yet the breathtaking beauty of unparalleled purity and goodness of it, all at the same time, all weighed and observed in one hand! It's such an unspeakably amazing thing, as are other Truths that God leads us to stumble upon, and that's how I'm beginning to feel about the topic of weakness.


In most situations I just get preoccupied by weakness, get discouraged by it, and focus on it rather than the power and the plan behind the Voice that has called me to do what He has. I think it a very natural and normal process for us to find discouragement and discouragement alone when we are pulled down to look our weaknesses, brokenness, and falleness straight in the eyes...



Encouragement is needed in this area, and hopefully I can pass on, amongst this rabble of words, a taste of that hope and encouragement which God promises and sings over us!



I've lost track of time this week, but I believe it was two nights ago, I went to a Biola chapel, and heard one of the most impactful things I have heard in a very long time. A Chinese woman spoke at the chapel, a Chinese woman who had been harshly persecuted and tortured for her faith, who had such a passion for God and other people coming to know His glory, that she endured 6 years of imprisonment under the hand of the Chinese government, until God finally brought her out as a refugee to the United States.


Her story is a crazy one, and I know that thousands, if not more, believers around the world suffer from much the same thing. Which, may I add, is even crazier! And yet, in all the stories she recounted for us, the one main thing that she emphasized about herself in that experience was that she was WEAK. She was not just being humble in saying that, but I could see that literally, if God had not carried her along, if His glory, grace, and passion was not as great as it is and was, she probably would never have made it through.



WEAKNESS. We've all got it. All those who endure persecution daily have it. Missionaries across the world have it. Our greatest leaders have it. I have plenty of it, and undoubtedly so do you. The crazy thing is that none of our limitations can in any way, shape or form stop God from doing with us what He wills, nor can they disqualify us from bringing glory to His name in the ways that he created us to! I feel so limited in regards to the people I can reach, in regards to what I can actually accomplish for God's name... but all of those things that I have to work through and that have been the repeating trials of growth in my life, those things are the things that speak a better word than any other, that speak Truth in ways that can hit and encourage hearts in the ways most needed!



Weakness is disheartening, it's frustrating and difficult to deal with, think upon, and work through, but it is also one of the biggest blessings God has given us: points that remind us and remind others just how great, gracious, and wonderful our God is, and just how far His gracious hand stretches into our lives!



I've found that God has far more grace for us than we often offer ourselves, and I know, for my own part, that I need to work on that.

To See Christ Only...

Torrey sessions (aka discussion-based classes that I'm a part of at my college) can be really long and monotonous at times. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've come to love my little group of 16 amazing friends, but sometimes after a three.hour.long.class of debate over "what existence is" my brain just starts to short circuit... That sentiment brings me to two important things that God has been pouring into me lately, only one of which I will share in this post.

First of all, I must say -in order to repair what I said above- that there is always at least one really insightful thing that I can take away from each of these 'sessions', God has definitely taught me through all of the hard work of these classes to pick up on the core truths and wisdom that underlie every work that has ever been written (whether they be dark truths or happy truths). Just the other day I picked up on one that, quite strangely, I'd never noticed before in the book of Mark, in the story of the transfiguration.

My Professor for the session (the infamous Dr. Reynolds) pointed the class to a most simple yet profound thought: Mark 9:8 says, " And suddenly, looking around, they no longer saw anyone with them, but Jesus only."

Jesus Only

On that mountain, one of the most brash and foolish of disciples, the one who probably made the most mistakes out of all of them, the one whom Christ himself called Satan was on the top of that hill, having the privilege to see Christ only, in all His glory, shining in all perfection and simplicity. And Jesus invited him there with Him, in full knowledge of what was about to happen! He invited, out of all the 12, Peter... how unique and wonderful Christ's love is for His beloved!

Peter was there, and yet was still to be the one who denied Christ three times, and then went on to be declared by Christ as the foundation of the Church... Does that boggle anyone else's mind?? I mean, in my sinfully limited mind, I think that Peter would have been the last person Christ should have wanted to give such privilege and blessing to... but then again, His ways are so much higher than my ways.

This radical overlook and forgiveness of Peter's sin gives me hope, especially since I feel like I can be a real Peter sometimes... you know, trying to have to best intentions, but often stepping out and ending up just doing or saying something really stupid... I think it's a human disease that most of us suffer from from time to time ;).

But the fact is that this story is first of all a huge testament and should serve as a HUGE encouragement to all of us sometime and full time Peters. We can never do anything too stupid or too sinful that we will be unforgivable by our loving Christ- hopefully we don't go so far as acting like Satan... but even when Peter did, Christ still invited him up that mountain!

The other thing I was reminded by in this passage is that I've lost the striving and focus that I once had to "do all things as if for God, not men"... and that here, in this passage lies the key that for some reason flipped a switch of understanding in my mind as no other has on this specific topic.

Jesus Only

The thing I came to realize is that just striving and doing things for God is a bit too "theoretical" and a lot less seemingly practical in my mind's conception of things... for some reason, when I think in the terms of that commandment it feels more like an "okay... cool... that is what I want my life to look like, to really please and live for God intentionally..." and then I run out of steam and motivation because there is nothing solid anchoring it in the deeper levels of my life!

But here in Mark I've found the best anchor I've ever found: to see Christ only.

That means not just saying "oh... God commanded this and so I'll try as best I can by my humanly power to do it"... but far more it says "Christ bought this work, He bought my life, He bought my right to an ability to think and reason, He bought my ability to love and work with people, He bought me..."

And therefore, in truth, everything I do is Christ, everything I am is Christ, everything I'm called to is Christ... and when I look at all things, even that task I'm dreading to do, I see Christ only. I no longer see the boring lecture, or that person I'd rather avoid, but millions of opportunities and things that Christ died for me to be able to experience, enjoy, and glorify Him in! This is the truth as we hardly ever perceive it.

In no way am I close to seeing this clearly in my day to day life... but now that truth is anchored in my soul, and by God's grace, may He help me and you as well to grow in this reviving perspective until I can truly say that I see nothing else, but Jesus Only!

Do you Ever Feel like...

Do you ever feel like what God has asked of you is just too big?



Here, let's downsize a little... Do you ever feel like your specific calling as a Christian, an ambassador for Christ in this world, is a little on the "ya I'd dream to do that, but I don't really expect it to ever come true" side?



I've been thinking about it lately... After years of praying and forgetting to pray for "career guidance" from God, He pretty blatantly told me over the span of a week this last semester in college that I was supposed to be a missionary... not just that, but a missionary to unreached peoples... not just that, but also in a psychologist/ counselor capacity.



Pretty intense right? I mean... we always pray that God would just be straightforward, that we would "hear His voice" more clearly, and we've grown to desire nothing but a straight and quick answer. Now, mind you, this answer has been three or four years of patience in the making, but He sure hit me smack dab between the eyes with this one.



Don't get me wrong, praise God that He saw fit to put a calling so strongly on my life that even I can't deny or shrink back from it when I feel just "too tired" or worn out to think about the long term and where all of this is going...



The fact is, though, that I often get the feeling that this is all too big... I mean, "Sure God, you've asked me to be a missionary, to share your hope, your reconciliation, your peace, your abiding love with the people of [country yet to be clarified when the time comes], but... I mean... are you sure?"...



And then the thoughts and the conversation trails off into a list as long as a roll of toilet paper running, hopping, bouncing, unravelling down a spiral staircase... just continually revealing the doubt after limitation after weakness that's within me.



But then I really think about it...



We all have limitless limitations, faults, doubts, and power issues in our lives.




None of us are capable of taking the gospel to a people and making them believe without God's help.



None of us are perfectly equipped for anything we are asked to do in this life...



I mean, look at David... he was asked by God to slay a giant... with a slingshot... I'd say he was pretty limited and poorly equipped for that feat, and yet God used that little boy to accomplish it!




Isn't that what it's all about? How could we ever learn anything if it weren't so?! It's in the testing of our limitations, the disciplining and "beating" of our bodies, as Paul puts it, that we become anything.


And even then... we aren't anything without the God who saved us.



This world, this plan, this thing that we call a Call may seem way too big for me, and that may daunt me at times, but that's the point. If I could do it all, there would be no power in it, because my power is nothing, and it won't impact a thing... but what God has been teaching me this past year is that at my weakest point, His power is at it's greatest, and it's those moments in which we can learn the most and make the biggest impact for God.

To Sit and Listen

An Older man who grew up in England but, much to his demise, didn't begin to love cheese until later in life when he had moved away from that land of phenomenal cheeses. A woman in her later 80's in a flannel shirt who had just taken her Orange tabby cat with 3/4 inch length fur into the vet coming in to buy two ballerina ornaments for her 94 year old friend. The 94 year old Nina who used to be a ballerina and ballet teacher in Russia and has just been approved for 4 more years of using her driver's license. My Father telling me from experience to live towards and never forget my dreams and goals...


It's amazing what you can learn when you just sit and listen to people and their life experiences.

In fact, there may be no greater human agent than the bare truth of a person's testimonies.